should i take up photography????
1. Time of starting this??
11.18p.m
2. Were you named after anyone??
i dont think so
3. Do you wish on stars?
no..cos i noe it doesnt come true
4. When did you last cry?
a few days ago after watching some drama
5. What is your favourite meat?
no idea...definitely nt beef and fish
6. What is your most embarrassing CD on your shelf??
none
7. If you were another person, would YOU be friends with you??
yes
8. Are you a daredevil?
yes and no
9. How do you release anger??
taking it out on someone else...punch them...kick them....if they realli pisses me off
10.Where is your second home?
school
11. Do you trust others easily??
sometimes yes..but most of de time nt
12. What was your favourite toy as a child?
soft toys...i treat them like my babies
13. What subject in school do you think is totally useless?
i think none is totally useless...but there's one that i dun realli like...and tt's theory
14. Do you use sarcasm a lot?
yes
15. Have you ever been in a mosh pit?? Supposed is it an area in front of a
concert stage in which audience members mosh?
apa?
16. What do you look for in a guy/girl???
guy - pretty, shy, killer smile, mr super-nice, gentlemen, charismatic, got character(attitude nvm, don't attitude me can already), suave, etc.
as long as he dun irritate me! and looks good...not very handsome..but at least i can stand looking at him for some time...
17. Would you bungee jump??
no! i'll die!
18. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off?
no. wats de point? i am lazy to re-tie them.
19. What's your favourite ice cream flavour?
choc
20. what are your favourite colours??
white . blue . black
21. What is your least favourite thing??
no idea
23. What do you miss most right now??
food
24. What are you listening to right now??
canto song by leo ku
25. If you were a crayon, what colour would you be?
blue
26. What is the weather like right now??
i hope it rains
27. Last person you talked to on the phone??
mummy?
mum...
28. The first thing you notice about the opposite sex??
looks
29. Do you like the person who sent you this??
yes
30. How are you today?
excited
31. Favourite drink?
used to be full cream milk...but now low fat milk :(
32. Favourite alcoholic drink??
vodka
33. Natural hair colour??
black
34. Eye colour??
brown
35. Wear contacts??
nah
36. Siblings??
elder sis
37. Favourite month??
september...wake me up when september ends
38. Favourite food??
i eat almost all edible food
39. Last movie you watched?
STAY ALIVE! i love it ok
40. Favourite day of the year??
25th sept...though this day this year is a lil crappy
41. Have you ever been too shy to ask someone out??
yes
42. Scary movies or happy endings??
both
43. Summer or winter??
both
44. Hugs or kisses??
BOTH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
45. Do you want your friends to write back?
watever
46. Who is most likely to respond?
no idea...doesnt matter
47. Who is least likely to respond??
read the answer above
48. What book/magazine are you reading?
not reading ani
49. What's on your mouse pad?
mouse?
50. What did you watch on TV last night?
can't remember
51 Favourite Smell??
definitely nt lavender
52 do you regret ever breaking up with someone??
NO!
53. Time of finishing?
11.36p.m
not been updating lately cos i dunno where to start...so many things happened...
rushing for submission as usual. nanny is in hospital. facing a few death. i'm afraid of this n dat.
personally..i seriousli dun think i am afraid of death. cos i dun like the feeling of people leaving me...i mean who likes it...no one does...but everyone will have to face this..you may say that i am one who doesn't face up to reality, complaining too much cos it is something tt will happen n complaining does nt help.
all these i know. i know i have to face it.
i can solve other problems. relationship. work. and other stuff. but i cnt face death. the feeling is bad. it is terrible. although my nanny stays in malaysia n i dun really get to see her often. but she is a nice lady who adores her grandchildren. i cnt bear to see her suffer. i just cant. i have not been working hard on my proj, i felt so lost. though i tried to work on it. but i just couldnt settle down quietly to work on it. my mind is blank. the feeling is so hard to describe.
after the stage performance is done. there's this next hurdle i have to cross. troubled. depressed. but wat can i do? i helplessly watched my mum and my aunts getting worried and crying. they talked on phone. travel in and out so often of malaysia. getting so weary after each visit. i've never seen them like this before. i never even experience this before though my grandfather, my greatgrandmother passed away some years ago. there isnt much impact on me then cos i was young and they werent so close to me afterall.
i had alot of fun in malaysia and each visit there brings so much memories of fun n laughter. recently, the tot of going there is terrible. i hope i dun have to go back there at this time. i dun want anything to happen. i dread phone calls now. no news is good news.
i had this dream before i knew abt my nanny. something abt death tt leaves a deep impact on me. i seldom have dreams and i had tt similar dream twice. i knew something was going to happen. it might be superstitious or other terms u may call it. but it really something terrible. cos i couldn't get it off my mind. as especially in times like now. the more i could nt forget it. put urself into my shoe. facing the same situation. with my very own set of thinking. it seems like u're watching some horror movies and u never know what is going to happen next. all u can do is helplessly stay put at tt spot waiting for it to happen. whatever u do does nt help.
so i was chatting with a few pals and they were saying that she'll be fine. they told me not to worry. all these words of console. guys, i noe u all mean well, u wan me to move on, u dun want me to worry. but sometimes u know, some things are better left unsaid cos i noe the situation better. alot of times, i wanted to talk it out so all these does not bottle up and make me suffocate. but these words of console seriousli make me feel worst. i just need a listener. the constant words like "move on", "there's nth u can do" and lotsa other stuff really make myself seems so useless. some compared the situation i am facing to theirs, but no one faces the same incident and even if it does, we are both different, the way we think, the way we handle things are different. it has gt nothing to do with u being strong n weak. it's how you see things. the perception.
i am nt putting the blame in anyone cos u all meant well. still, i have to thanks all those who have been hearing all these problems i am facing.
i am nt trying to pick a fight here so please...do nt misinterprete my entry. i am just writing how i feel at this very moment.
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